Fun with Bulwer-Lytton

At one time, I had considered entering the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest that asks participants to submit the worst opening line they can think of for an imaginary novel, this in honor of the much ridiculed “It was a dark and stormy night” classic of Edward George Bulwer-Lytton. I wrote the following, but never entered the contest. Since it was just lying around, serving no purpose, I’ve decided to show it. I named it The Blue Woman.

He noticed her standing at the bar, inclined, plain, a woman of low stature and self-esteem, feigning indifference as her eyes scanned slowly past him, indigo eyes that complemented the tints of her dress and shoes, a palette of blues as striking as a Muddy Waters tune from the mid to late 1940’s, colors that included the sea and the sky and his own favorite blanket as a child.